Monday, August 7, 2017

在云的顶端

今天突然有一种冲动想拿起笔写日记。
但今时今日,哪里还需要用笔。(谢谢科技)

三个星期了,在云顶的日子已经过了二十一天。
这意味着,我已经有超过五百零四个小时没有回家了。(几分几秒就懒得算啦)

意外的,我想家了。想念那几个调皮的小瓜;想念那从她们口里说出的“shû shú, shû shú”;更想念那娇纵的小瓜总爱赖在我身边卧在我的怀中的感觉。不知,回去后他们是否会对我有陌生的感觉。

今天,也已经是不懂第几天跟她冷战了。
这星期的对话,竟然可以滑一下手指就看完。而一通电话都没有。而她在通讯录里,难得的掉到十多格之下,要找都难。
算了。反正,每次都是我得低头。干脆就等多几天,现在实在是没心情去拿苦来受。
不是我不够爱她,而是爱得太多,累得更多。
很多事情,明明就是预料到会发生,但偏偏无可避免。

算了吧。早点睡。不要让哀愁影响健康。😅😅

Sunday, April 6, 2014

看着大家欢乐的样子。我要学习怎么学会放下和珍惜。
我一双手,肯定不能拥有所有我想要的东西。
就这样,握着我身旁的就好。
在不一样的地方。有不一样的生活。没说哪里比较好。比较不好。就这样。乖乖的接受就好。

父神,我现在要敞开我的心,以一颗喜乐的心去对待我周围的人。

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

妈妈的话

和朋友在车里跟妈妈对话。
朋友说,auntie,锡康很坏!
妈妈回答,他坏啊?他坏的话世界上就没有好人了咯!

心里莫名的感动了一下。很多下啦其实。
之后回想起来,心里甜得很是滋味。
可能就因为是从妈妈口中说出来的吧。
虽然或许只是场面话来的,但,我就是爽了啊。


Saturday, January 4, 2014

Though' we know it's hard to say goodbye, but thank you for the memory you left behind.

A line of lyrics written by my bro in Christ.
Although it is not written for me but a sis who is now at heavenly home with our Mighty God.
but I just want to paraphrase this sentence to my life.
Keep repeat and repeat while listening this song made by weichien.
I started to recall my whole 2013 life.

the year I experience the most compared to the previous years. (every year I also say this =.=')
But really, the most complicate experience are in my 2013.
For the very first time, I need to start a new life. To restart my life from zero.
No friend, No status, No one will care me besides God.
Last year, I have to live alone in house, I have no worries at all. Cz that is the place that I grew up, That is the environment that I knew, That is the place where my social circle located.
But the days in Sarawak, is totally different with the days in Banting.
a month before I come here, I already feel insecure.

But now, what I can only say is, I have nothing to worry, nothing to scare, nothing can bring me down, as long as I am always with God!

Ya, is really hard to say goodbye. The harder it is, the more I not willing to leave.
Still remember the days or the week before I leave, a lot of farewell did by different gang of friends.
I did have a lot of friends, and a lot of different experience memories with them.
 For me, every single of them are so important for me.
They shaped up who I am now, they showed me how important I am in their life, in fact, they all are the single puzzle who linked together and form my life.
without them, I am not who I am now.

I started to miss they all while I am typing this post.
How I wish I can go back to meet every of them now! but at the meantime, I also worry, our relation are change when we meet again.

For many times I ask myself, who am I? I am just a simple person with a lot of blessings from lovely God.
Till now, 20, I am.
I had been a teacher, although I never take the course to become teacher.
I had been a coach, although I haven't a high achievement in the volleyball life.
I had been a different character for different character in my life.
A good student in mouth of my teacher.
A good child in mouth of the elders.
A good servant in mouth of sis and bro in Christ.
A good person in mouth of my friends.
For certain persons, I am a bad guy too.
I am just perfect to become an imperfect person.

But, so what? I need to say goodbye to all those things...
God want me to restart from zero. In a brand new environment, the place that no one know the origin of me.
In front of any person, I am just a guy. A university student. that's all.
who will care about my past? in fact, I also won't care anyone's past.
Humble, the most difficult thing that I need to learn. For many years, I'm studying this lesson, but till now I'm not yet graduate from this course..haiz.
God's plan over people's. He always prepare the best road for me. for me to learn, for me to grow, to construct a better me, a 'me' that He like.
nothing to do, nothing to complain, just believe to God.

Good bye! all my stuff in 2013. A new me is now here holding a blank record book. Start the life with zero!
So, 2014! I am ready to accept the challenges! Come! put the horse come~



Friday, December 27, 2013

LIfe

Since the day I come to Sarawak. A lot of things had changed. Indeed, the world is always changing.
A lot of new stuff come into my life while some have gone.

The day before today, I received a very bad news from hometown about the death of one of my sister in Christ. Although we are not that close and lack of interact, but i did have a lot of memories about her and her family which gave a lot of caring for me. 

Just after the moment I knew it, I have no more energy and mood to continue my revision for final exam.
I wish to tell people to express my emotion but I can't,
Coz I really feel guilty about it. I know the situation of hers, and I should pray for her but I didn't. I totally forget to pray for her during the period she suffer in sick! 
although I know it is the God's planning. eventhough i pray, if God really wanna to take her to the heaven home, i can change nothing. but the worse thing is I forget my own responsibility to pray especially pray for others as a Christian. I really feel shame.

Till now, I still can't focus to study. Everytime when i sit down, i think about it.. 
I choose to play ball to make me better, choose to go out overnight to make me forget. but the fact is, i can't escape from facing it. I really want to express myself before I continue my life later. 
I can't tell my friends at here, should say I have no encourage to tell them. For sure, I know i will cry which i dont want to show in front of them. 
Instead of that, i choose to write down here to always remind myself.
 Tears around my eyes, but I dont want to let it fall. 
Hope that i could become better after this.

Heavenly Father, I come in front of you. to admit my sin with a humbly heart. For every wrong i have did, i hope You will forgive me and keep refresh me with your Holy Spirit. Dear Lord, pls always be with me and remind me whenever I forget to do the right thing. Pls, keep me away from the temptations, from the evil, from the wrong. I know I m jz a sinner, but Lord you never forget me, even bring me to your side to serve you and receive your grace. Thanks Lord! from the moment i write down this prayer, i told myself i really really really wanna be the blessing of others just like Lord you always bless me thru the angels you sent around me. Father, thank You. For always love me. always endure me. and never ever gv up me.
 I love You, my Lord, my dear heavenly Father.
for these, i pray in Jesus precious name. Amen!



Saturday, April 13, 2013

打破历史

情绪波动超大的一周。
紧张担心伤心害怕开心,最终安心。

五年,在这支排球队里待了整整五年。
从球员到教练。
受过很多异样的眼光,让人批评,讽刺,诋毁。。
各种各样的话,像刺一样扎在我的心。
幸好我承受得了,一直坚持着。
要不然我一定无法见证这支在排球队历史上被视为很弱的一队终于得到了冠军!!

今年让很多人都刮目相看,很多老师也都吓了一跳!
我们的女队竟然一场都没输到,一直以黑马的姿态打进决赛,甚至拿下冠军!
虽然男队没得奖,但的的确确,他们在第一轮小组赛时战胜了得亚军的队伍,要怪就怪运气不够好。

我也说过,将会是我最后一年的带领。
而这冠军对我来说也正好是个完美的落幕。
虽然并不属于我的,但我也啊。
看到自己亲手栽培的球员得奖,心里的安慰与开心大大超过比自己得奖的喜悦。

今年的我一直抱着的心态

-我要用我的生命来让别人的生命多一点色彩!-

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas


2010
2011



and 2012..
The Potter's hand...

From year to years, learnt different things during Christmas...
we aren't professional in dancing or acting..
but with the grace of God, we got this chance to learn and perform for Him..
we tried our best for every single performance..
none of us are really too free to do this, and it is not easy for us to have a moment to practice together..
but we do all of these just because of our Lord, the Mighty God.

Thanks God for guiding us along the path..

I'm captured by Your Holy calling,
Lord, please take me, mold me, use me, and fill me..
I'll give my life to the potter's hand..