I need a way

I tried to control myself from writing this post.
but I cant do it.
jz because if I am not express it, I am going to bomb!
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13th of October 2012. Kindergarten Graduation.
is an annually program.
nothing special. the only different is I am incharge of the backstage decoration which is usually incharge by the chairman of the board.

the first year, we do the deco without the present of chairman.
I think I am really mad, why I agreed to take over the job which is full of burden while the chairman is absent in the meantimes STPM is coming.

actually it is a very simple job while all the bro and sis are unite to do it.
but the problem is not all the people are willing to follow the instruction.
when the spider's web unite, they can tie up a lion;
but if it's not unite, even the spider can't stand firm in its web.

because of him, I have to do more than what I should do.
I try hardly to cooperate with this person, but it is very difficult to..
everytime I persuade myself to treat him nicely, I told myself, he also help a lot, I should thanks him.
but the fact is, what he bring to me is burden rather than helping.

I wonder why he is so unmature while he is older than me so much.
or maybe is me not enough mature to accept him.
I can only tolerance to him as avoid unhappy environment.
and finally what I done isnt what I want..

I am still finding ways to get on well with him although it maybe very difficult.
from the days of decoration, till he knocked my car without any apologize and forget his promise.
these all making me more and more dislike this person.

is a truth that everytime we are doing God's work, the evil also doing works on us.

I still need to grow grow grow grow up. to be a forgiving person to accept the person that I dont like.
to love your enemy! I know it, but is really not that easy when you want to do it..

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at the end of the graduation ceremony, the principle of kindergarten invited me to go up stage.
she introduced me to all the people.
I am so so so touch! when she still remember I am the former student in years 1998 & 1999 that even myself also not sure.
she gave a very very high praising to me that I am really shame to accept it.
at that moment, I really feel shame because I am not qualified to receive the glorification.
because I know, what I done is not good enough.
and I really do nothing much while all the people are so willing to become my hands and do the things.
full of appreciate to bro and sis in Christ especially the teachers..

kindergarten. a place where 3 to 6 years old children's playing ground.
thats what most of the people think it.
for me, it is a place that construct me, a place for me to learn, to grow up.even now, 19 years old, I am still learning in this place and I will continue learning till the end of my life at here..

a bad mood

jz noticed that everytime I write blog while I am in a bad mood..

age of 19, so call young adult. in the process of turning to a new lifestyle which is totally different with the secondary life.
need thinking, need mature, need a strong mindset to change myself,
or still same as 17 with a 19 appearance...

I know I really bear a very very important responsibility to study well in my STPM.
but even now which is 3 weeks before exam, I am still very slumber.

If you ask me what you had learnt in your Form 6 life.
The answer is I learn a lot, but nothing in academic.

The proof is I never passed my chemistry, physics and even maths paper in exam
Can you imagine that I failed in mathematics?!! and not only 1 times but everytime except the trial.
the only time I passed all the papers is in trial with the highest 70marks in maths paper.
I can do it jz because of my ability to memorize the pass year questions but not because of I know how to answer it.

But the fact is, in this moment, I am no regret to take STPM as my pre-u..
Yes! I missed a lot of fun experience in college, but I gain a lot more than I lost which are contructing myself to become a man who is mature enough to face the more challenge future life...

Sometimes, I feel that myself face a very big problem when challenges come to me, but when I look back, is just a piece of cake.
is a good sign, means that I am become stronger.

难以回答的问题

Zen Oriental Kitchen

原本我这只要飞出鸟笼的的鸟终于可以自由了。可是好像又要被捆绑了。。

今天哥哥问了我一个问题
：‘店还要继续开吗？今晚去想，明天给我答案。’

我接到他的意思，如果继续，肯定我要负责打理店了，他肯定不得空的了。

我知道他很累了。。最近每天来回吧生万津。就算是铁人也会生锈啦。。。
我很想告诉他说，你就专心在klang club kitchen 吧。。毕竟那边真的是需要你。。这边就。。
可是却没说出口。因难免也会舍不得。。

矛盾，明天我要怎样回答他咧。。

说真的，我也很累了。。
我也不是什么有大本事的人，每天放学后还要去顾店，真的是很累的。。。
而且也牺牲了不少娱乐，牺牲了很多原本我该做的东西。。

他累我也累，这样下去真的也不是办法啊。。
干脆一了百了关了它算了。。。。

可是，才开了四个月，本都还没有回，就这样关了不就白费。
我这四个月过的生活不就没意思了。。
不管怎样，至少要回本才值得嘛。。
而且说真的，我真的觉得我哥煮的食物很不错好吃的咧。。
他走了真的很浪费咧。。。

就这样，决定权就在我手里！！！
选择继续的话，店就落在我手里了，我就得对它负责了，就得比现在更认真，比现在花更多的时间在店里了。。别说跟朋友去玩，连打球的时间我也得牺牲了。。

关掉的话，就他轻松我也轻松，
我可以去玩，我可以去打球，我可以去过我想要过的中六生活。。。
只不过就亏了几十千咯。。
还有我的经济来源也会减少了~

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！！！！
到底要怎样啊？！！！！

生死

前几天，家对面有人去世了。。
才知道是骨痛热症惹的祸，最近一直被蚊子咬，都不懂会不会有事。。

今天整家人都突然请假。。店也不开了。。
因为一通电话。。“时候不多了”。。
我们都回双溪古月看大伯。。
四个小时的车程。回到了老家。。
大伯躺在病床上。掉着一包糖水。。
我看着他。。黄色的皮肤，黄色的眼睛。。已经瘦到不像是我认识的大伯了。。
听说是肝硬化。。
反应变得有些迟钝。。
也认不出我们了，却还认得出其他朋友。只怪自己不孝，都没什么回老家。。

听伯娘说前两天还好好的，昨天突然就病发了。。
送去医院，没住院，说是医院不肯收。。
现在只是等时候到。。
等时候到。。每次听到都让我心疼。。
等待原本不是一件坏事，但所等的是死亡，那应该不是件好事吧。

可最让我心疼的还是伯娘，看她一脸从容的照顾大伯，都没埋怨，更加让人心酸。。
自从我们搬出去以后，就只剩他们俩一起过生活，也没有孩子，现在大伯要走了，剩下伯娘孤单一人，她一定比我们任何一个人都痛苦，但她还是从容的谢谢来探望大伯的朋友，默默的服侍大伯。。我不敢想象大伯走了以后，她会怎样。。

为什么？？大伯都不烟不酒。。却要挨这种苦。。
听说是饮食没照顾好。。爱吃咸的。。
警戒了我，现在不照顾好，以后也会这样。。

晚餐后，去久家花园绕，对我来说，一点都不熟悉。。对这个地方没什么印象。。可这是我诞生的地方。。
妈妈去拜访了很多熟人，可对我来说是陌生人。。
妈妈还告诉我我小时候还没到三岁在这边发生的趣事。。
这边变了很多，慢慢的发展起来了，我相信这地方一定会越来越旺。因为离utar很近，十分钟的车程就可以抵达。。
高山区也建了很多间屋子，跟我现在住的屋子一般大，可是价钱，那边120k, 这边220k。。。
现在在想，如果那时候我们都没搬来万津，现在的我会是一个怎样的我咧？

再回去看大伯后，就离开回来万津了。。
希望不要酱早再收到伯娘的电话，如果收到了，就希望她只是问候我们。。
不想在这个时候收到坏消息。。
我只到大伯很想继续活下去的，你一定要坚持下去。。。
但如果真的不行了，希望大伯是无憾的走。
求主赐恩典与他，与他同在，使他得着永生的生命。。

今天我已经不知道眼泪在我眼睛里打滚了多少次，可每次我都忍了下来。。
我要乐观的面对每件事情，这是我对自己的承诺。。

ish...

终于。。
哈哈。。最近真的是‘得闲死不得闲病’。。
新年不像新年。。
New year isn't new year~~

破了纪录！！！到目前为止得到的红包，我竟然用双手就可以算的出来！！
不过知足就好。。哈哈。已经比很多人幸福了。。

说回来，今年是有够黑的过新年。。
也不懂是什么问题。明明都不是我比赛，得奖的又不是我，可我偏偏就是要变黑。。。
接下来,就是要做宅男，进行我的美白计划了！！
看到了成果，一年比一年更接近冠军了。。我就不信明年拿不到。。虽然不属于我的，但也爽。。哈哈。。

其实最近蛮忙。。
不过怎么都好像没什么感觉。
就连昨天我做过什么连我自己都记不清楚了。。
所以也没什么好写的。。就酱。。

Zen Oriental Kitchen
将会是我今年生活的一部分。。应该已经是了。。。

The first month of year 2012..
I success to break new pin to be an eagle now!!!
a beautiful opening to my way...
I want to fly higher, higher and even highest!!!

Oriental Kitchen

Coming soon at Banting...

排球

这两个月来。。平均有一个多月都在打球吧。。说起来真好笑。。五年前我跟大过我的人打。。五年后的今天，我竟然跟一班小过我四五岁的小弟弟小妹妹们打球。。才证明我还是很年轻的~就当我自欺欺人吧。这两个月下来我的腰闪到了三次，严重受伤一次。。现在躺在床上都不能动。因为只要一个moVE我的腰就会痛到象断掉酱。。提醒我。不要以为自己还很年轻力壮。。老了就该认老。。哈哈，最近看到女子排球世界杯，发现到一样东西。真正会打排球的女生在场上都很美。。尤其是日本12号，木村纱织。。被她迷到了。